I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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