My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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