I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
