$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
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You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
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So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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