I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
