; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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