Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
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I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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