And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
