You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
