The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
