Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
