I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
