I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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