I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
