I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize