I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
