But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Im part way to drunk.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
