we're blogging at a bar
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
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Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
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he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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