so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
