you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
