Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
