brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
