I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
So many bounce houses so little time
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
