I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
