hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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