I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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