Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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