He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i dont even know how to be here
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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