This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
