We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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