clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
