ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
