Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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