Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
