At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
