yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
