so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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