Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you win again, gameday.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
