Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
