So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
please come you make the beer taste better
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
It's official drugs can't kill me
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
