at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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