I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
