I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
