remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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