Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
