hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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