2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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