Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
