so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize