you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Two words: nipple clamps
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