Farmville is her only friend.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
