i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
