So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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