Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
