4 words: hood of his car
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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