just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
