My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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